


el amor es grave (y el amor hastía)

by dexterously



Series: El futuro (funciona) [2]
Category: Football RPF
Genre: M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-30
Updated: 2014-10-30
Packaged: 2018-02-23 05:07:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2535275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dexterously/pseuds/dexterously
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s like breathing slowly in the darkness, his back hunched, sitting there with his eyes open.</p>
            </blockquote>





	el amor es grave (y el amor hastía)

It doesn't —Villa doesn't —he knows this doesn't mean anything important.

What it means is: Silva doesn’t know.

**3**

For all that David Silva is one of the smartest people Villa has ever met before, he doesn’t seem to catch a single thing that would remotely reveal Villa’s infatuation (and maybe that’s not the rightful description). It’s good, it’s all good, because Villa has to swallow the paranoid every time, push it at the back of his mind, leave it there like a shadow darkening the edge of this thoughts, his vision. Silva acts like he can’t figure it out —from thin air; that is, because he knows nothing; likewise, can’t put a name at whatever Villa is. He looks like it’s not there for him, and for him alone, but Villa knows, has been for a while. He knows why an airline website is always open in his laptop, the pointer hovering over Manchester flight’s schedules. Why he lets out a joyful laugh every time Silva sends the ball into the back of the net, why he holds on until he can see the matches alone, and doesn’t miss any of the interviews that features him. Why he gets angry with himself when all of that happens. Why he feeds on almost and what ifs.

**2**

It’s like breathing slowly in the darkness, his back hunched, sitting there with his eyes open. He cannot see a thing, he can’t, for fuck’s sake, he can’t see what he’s becoming, but he feels this: it’s nowhere good, nowhere fair. Silva flicks on a lightbulb from time to time,  and the light cuts through the space with an overpowering shining, illuminating his life passing by while he waits for Silva to turn around and _stay_ , to leave the light on.

**1**

Oh, _how_ he tries. He runs faster and dribbles as good as he can, burns his lungs out, scores when he can, passes when he can, assists when he can. He fights against contradicting thoughts and wins, wins matches, wins concentration, wins peace in his mind in the ninety minutes of play. But this battle —the victory in this one he doesn’t seem to be reaching. Improves his skills, works out, jogs every morning and every night, gets early to practice and stays late until the exhaustion is almost beyond all bearing. Calls his mom, goes out. He tries to spare as little time as it can be for the thought of Silva to seep into his mind and paralyze him, to leave him aching and waiting, waiting, waiting. Right before the sleep comes in, images wave under his eyelashes, and it’s the same every time: Silva with his copper eyes staring at him, freckled face and a blinding sharp halo from the lightbulb glowing behind him. Villa gets closer, and the image focalises itself; the angle of his cheekbones and the shape of his nose, the gold in his skin. Villa can almost count the moles. Then he gets closer yet, and it’s all dark again.

**0**

(A clear day spills through the curtain in his room, and Villa awaits for the consciousness to kick in. The time runs past him and he is left there, with the peremptory impression he is only but waiting—the end of a fight already lost, the blackout of the incandescent light).

**Author's Note:**

> My own very addition to the roller coaster that is being a Silvilla shipper. Made as foolproof as I could do it myself.
> 
> Inspired by an original work that I wrote too, it sounded a little like this pairing, so I did the right modifications! I want to believe this can lead to a series of works? We just don't know yet. 
> 
> Set ambigualy after they parted ways from Valencia, Silva to Manchester City and Villa to Barcelona.
> 
> You can scowl at me for this in [my tumblr](http://holycocoa.tumblr.com/).


End file.
